Happy Birthday, Mom …

From southern part of the world, to the best person I’ve ever known for my entire life

Please allow me to greet you

“Happy Birthday 60th My Dearest Mom”


It’s not the first time I cannot be with you to celebrate your birthday yet this is the first time I’m not sad for not being there. Because today, we’re thousand kms apart but you’re in the Holy Land of Mecca, fulfilling your lifetime dream as a Moslem. The one that I may regret is because I cant join you there. But, to see you how happy you are for being there .. that’s enough for me for now, coz no words can express my gratitude since Allah gives you the greatest gift in 60th year of your life …

Dear Allah,

I couldn’t thank more for sending me to her womb and let me to be her daughter … Coz being her daughter is the greatest gift You’ve ever given me in my life …

Dear Allah,

Please give me opportunity to bring happiness to her life, be a daughter that she’s proud of as well as fulfil her dream as a mother …

Please protect her wherever she is, keep her healthy, take away her pain, and give your bless for every journey she’ll walk into …

Aamiin Yaa Rabbal Alamiin

اَللّهُمَّ اغْفِرْلِيْ وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَارْحَمْهُمَاكَمَارَبَّيَانِيْ صَغِيْرَ

Melbourne, 20 September 2015

Izinkan aku kembali berdoa


Telah berulang kali aku mencoba pergi. Memaksakan diri terbangun dari mimpi yang tak berkesudahan. Melepaskan diri dari asa yang tak kunjung terpuaskan …

Terkadang aku begitu percaya diri, meyakinkan diriku sendiri bahwa aku telah berhasil menutup rapat pintu pengharapan. Menyimpan semua pinta dan rasa di sudut hati yang tak kan pernah lagi kubuka …

Tapi ketika setitik cahaya itu datang, Aku tidak bisa mencegah diriku untuk kembali memupuk angan-angan. Menyirami kembali benih impian yang sempat layu karena kenyataan …

Ketika setitik embun mengiringi hadirnya mentari pagi, Aku tidak bisa menahan diri untuk tidak memupuk asa, bahwa gelapnya malam akan segera berganti dengan hari baru penuh dengan cahaya …

Maka izinkan kali ini aku kembali berdoa, agar Tuhan mengarahkan dua jalan ke satu titik pertemuan, untuk kemudian menyatukannya perjalanan kita di satu jalur yang sama …

Melbourne, 08 September 2015, 01.50 AM

Pic taken from here

A Note From The Past

Old note papersToday I found a note that you wrote me several years ago, when we had such a little fight. It was a ‘complaint’ note. I barely remember what was happen back then … but what you wrote in that small piece of paper indicates you were upset of me …. I guess I was bit cruel back then so you write such a ‘bad’ note …

Seeing such a note, some though came to my mind …

Since we first knew each other,the fact was our close relationship has been such up and down … We shared many things together, laughed together, even was chasing dream together. It was not only happening in such a ‘good’, if I may call it … We were not only happy and encourage each other. We even fought over something that was difficult to explain … If sometimes our ego came out, these two young and immature buddies then suddenly became stranger, ignore each other, even avoid to talk. But, after time passed by, we usually made up and became close again … even closer and closer …

The point is, we were always find a way to reunite again. And talking bout that note … it is not how bad the content was, but how it led us to a better and closer relationship. At least, that what I remember …

However, I guess everything has not been same again lately … We don’t fight anymore … we don’t criticize each other anymore … Unfortunately, it does not happen because we grow up and get more understanding to each other. In fact, there’s not only ‘note’ that we miss, even talking becomes rare opportunity for us nowadays. Thus, we are more like stranger than two friends which has known each other for many years …


As time goes by, we go through our own journey. We create different path that keep make us apart. I don’t mind if our destination is different. Anyhow, I’m still hoping that we still meet in some points and our pathway at least still cross each other. Coz I can bear us not always together,  yet forgetting each other and being stranger is still too much for me. So, I’ll be waiting for a note from you just like before … though it could turn to be a ‘cruel’ note which may hurt me yet bring you back to me.

Till we ‘meet’ again ….

For someone out there .. I’ll always wait for that ‘note’


Pic taken from here

Stay with me


Be here .. stay with me

I’ve done enough with people come and go .. especially ones who left without even care to turn their head back or sent a simple good bye. I’m tired of being left, after all those things, what I had been through … there’s only me my self, here with head full of question with one question word : “why”

Then, please be here … stay with me

Whatever tomorrow brings .. whatever wait for us in the end of the road, I’m sincerely asking you .. Please do not walk away. Just stay here, be with me …. as long as you can …

Bandung, May 14th 2014

pic taken from here 

Be Thankful ….

I’m here again ….
Everything remains the same …
No improvement at all …
still stick with this stress feeling ….

But you know …
One thing that I’ve just realized …
whatever God plans, it is definitely because He loves me …

Imagine when you suppose to be ‘down’ or ‘sad’
after receiving some unexpected news,
but you even don’t have time to think about it,
since there’s so many things you need to handle ….

You don’t even need to force yourself to deal with such this bad news …
coz Allah helps you find the way even before you ask him for ….

“Then which of the Favors of your Lord will you deny ?”
“Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang manalagi yang kamu dustakan”
[Q.S Ar Rahman]

And There Comes You …


Starting this morning with ‘shock news’. Okey, I kinda bit ‘lebay’ … It should not that shock actually. Since it has been predicted well from start. But feeling is a feeling … even it’s not easy for the logic to defeat it. I feel that have trying hard to control my self. But everything is not simple as it …

The news suddenly make my day darker. So lazy to go to office … Have no idea what to do while an important meeting is scheduled and I must have joined it. Once again … I admit, it make my day even worse than before …

And there you are ….

You talk about something that actually never become our topics before. You come with some advice … common advice actually but it’s not something that ‘normally’ comes from you.

I have a very big effort to control my self not to laugh in the middle of this boring meeting. In fact, I also try hard not to cry. My self has been touched already. Whatever you’ve just write me in that BBM , you know it ‘shoot’ me right to the bottom of my heart.

You make me realize that I have you to share .. someone who cares, although no thing special in our relationship. Someone who doesn’t think twice to say that you really care of me. And I won’t hold my self to say I ‘love you … one of the best friend I ever had … and I really miss the time we spend together ….

Thanks for be there …. Thanks for bring my mood up again ….

Every now and then
We find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You’re the best friend that I’ve found
I know you can’t stay
A part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay

I’ll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
That life would just be kind
To such a gentle mind
If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way
Hmm……….. this way

I don’t need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you’ll be there
Forever more apart of time, you’re everywhere
I’ll always cares

And I’ll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I’ll be standing by your side and all you do
And I won’t ever leave
As long as you believe
You just believe

Remember Me This Way by Jordan Hill

For a best friend … Thanks a lot